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November 28, 2005

Flogging Shedloads to the Unwitting

I love that expression -- flogging shedloads to the unwitting -- it's just one of many that friend Kevin at the BBC shared with me during an email discussion about British slang. I knew some slang and Kev humored me by producing a list along with some definitions. Since there are a few of you who know these expressions quite well, I thought I'd invite you to deposit some additions to this list in the comments.

Plebb - someone who's not too bright and maybe a bit out of touch with fashion etc.
Clanger - "dropped a clanger" is a phrase used a lot here
e.g. - A friend of mine congratulated a collegue when she thought she was pregnant. But she was shocked when the collegue said "I'm not pregnant at all, i've just put on a bit of weight". That's an example of "dropping a clanger"
Plonker - you often call someone this if they've dropped a clanger. It's also slang for male genitals
Divvee - sporned, I think from Liverpool and best said with a broad Scouser accent (that's what we call Liverpudlians) Just "Div" is used sometimes.
Lard Arse - someone who has a big backside and is generally overweight
Tosser - someone you don't like but also the same as "wanker"
Dickhead - again someone you don't like (this theme goes on .. Prick, Prickhead etc)
Dweeb - very much like Plebb above
Scum - Someone who'd rob your grandma or any other crime of that ilk
Arsehole - I think this is one of yours too, but maybe you say "Asshole"!
Sporned - to grow or develop
Country bumpkin - someone who lives in the countryside, away from the city
Pyscho - someone with a screw loose - they'd do anything and are best avoided. I guess sporned from that great film.
Headcase - as above, but they're probably not as dangerous.
Daft prick - [note: Kev didn't provide a definition for this one; it's self-explanatory.]
Sod off - piss off
Sod - someone who's a bit of a runt and a bit canny is often described as a "sod"
e.g. - "that little sod's borrowed my car without asking"
Clown: an idiot, fool
Nonce: Someone who's feeble minded and probably on the camp side

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November 27, 2005

After the bird...

... in more ways than one.

I've returned from my adventures of spending a week in the woods. The opportunity to prepare a Thanksgiving feast was too great for me to pass up since one of my sisters was cooking at my mom's house. I wanted to cook also and there was no use getting into a tiff about it, so I decided to head out of state.

Food prep was without issue and the bird was considerably less in poundage than usual. Chef extraordinaire Kat of Kat's Stuff would have been particularly proud of me since I finally discovered the joy of cooking with herbs. Yes indeedy, Rosemary, Thyme and Tarragon found their way into my shopping cart this year, nevermind what I used them in. In past cooking forays I've been ignorant of herbs to the point where Kat expressed her surprise and shock that I really had absolutely NO CLUE. Dipping my toes into herb usage should assuage her a bit as I'm no longer hesitant about experimenting with them. My goal, other than tasty dishes, was to serve everything hot, and succeeded not only in delicious food but also getting everything out of the oven and onto the table hot. Enough about that.

Prior to and after the festival of bird consumption I was also busy hunting bird -- with my camera, that is. Though I've not yet retired my annual pursuit of deer photos, none were around at times I could photograph them. For my camera, which I've obviously outgrown, it means morning or daytime photography, not early evening or night. As it's deer hunting season in the Northeast, I was lucky if I'd even see any deer nevermind my habit of leaving deer corn out for them (that's how I bribe them to hang out.) I did see some in the morning and early evening and at night but the group I saw were particularly skittish and I had little patience to pursue photos. Instead I opted for photographing the birds, and the three bird feeders set up at different areas on the property gave me plenty of chances to get a good photo. At the same time I was learning about the different birds for the area I was in, so it was also an educational pursuit as well.

Photographing the birds required a bit of patience on my part as well as anticipation by pressing the shutter halfway on my camera. I learned this after deleting some 50 photos I shot of the bird feeder with no bird in the image. :-) Some birds let you approach and get very, very close while others took off the minute you stepped out of the house. When I spotted a woodpecker at one of the bird feeders, my only option to photograph it was to shoot from inside the house and through the glass pane of the door. Had I been shooting film and not digital, I would have gone through rolls and rolls of film before managing to capture one photo of the woodpecker. Instead, digital helped me to quickly eliminate all those missed opportunities and get SOMETHING. Though I'm not at all satisfied with the woodpecker photos I took through the glass, I wanted to show you what I did manage to get:

What's funny about this strip I put together is the very last one, where the woodpecker is looking directly at me as if to say will you STOP already?!? I'll not tell you how many times the words shit and fuck flew out of my mouth, I'll let you guess. I knew when I missed shots, I knew when I wasn't paying close enough attention and when I didn't anticipate the eat-and-fly routine of the birds. I have no idea what I'll do with all those damned photos of birds now and ponder the continuation of this ridiculous pursuit I created. That is, of course, until I return and come across yet another type of bird I've yet to photograph. Next time I'll bring along my film camera with the zoom lens. :-)

One more thing. While in the midst of photographing the birds, I was standing underneath the feeder that hung from a tree waiting for the feathered to return when I heard a rustling behind me. When I turned my head to see what it was, I saw the biggest buck (an adult male deer) with HUGE antlers that easily could have been mistaken for an elk, it was that grand. The afternoon sunlight caught the splendid creature in such a way that left me momentarily spellbound. Even though I had camera in hand and at the ready I didn't react fast enough. As quickly as the deer appeared in my own viewfinder, it swiftly disappeared from my sight. *sigh* I was so taken with the vision that when I attempted to tell friends what I saw, getting the words out of my mouth became difficult. For some strange reason the only name I could come up with for the animal was reindeer when what I saw was what it was, a deer or very large buck. I've no idea where reindeer came from in the depths of my brain, but thankfully I didn't actually say that. Were it not for someone mentioning the same exact sighting but elsewhere, I would have questioned whether or not I really saw what I thought I saw. And no, I wasn't clocked on the head by the bird feeder (chuckle.) Oh well. That concludes this episode of bird tales -- feathered, fleet-footed and female. *wink*

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November 24, 2005

Gobble Gobble

I'm cooking so this is a quickie.

Happy Turkey Day to all of you, especially to those who cleaned the house, set the table with the good china and silverware and linen napkins, slave over a hot stove all day long and eventually finish cooking, serve everyone, sit down at the table, and... [insert HUGE SIGH HERE] watch as all of it is inhaled in 5 minutes. Anywhere from 24-48 hours of preparation for 5 minutes. Seems like a bit of a letdown, doesn't it? There's a joke in there but I'm just not finding it between the cranberry sauce and the stuffing.

Have a great one!

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November 17, 2005

One of those mornings

Sometimes it's not a good idea to begin doing things before having had my morning shower. I thought I'd just get the coffee brewing before venturing off to fully waking up (which only happens after my shower) but that ended up to be a bit of a mistake. Half asleep/half awake, one eyeball open and the other still drippy/sleepy, I began by spilling the contents of the coffee can onto the kitchen counter and floor. After cleaning that up, I then broke a favorite piece of glassware when I pulled the coffee cup out of the cupboard. Shards of glass ended up in places you couldn't even fathom, so a lot of time was spent hunting down the little suckers (remember: one functioning eyeball.) After the requisite amount of expletives left my mouth, I decided to pour a cup of java and somehow missed the cup completely.

Imagine what I'd be like if I had really important things to take care of before my shower -- a frightening thought.

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November 14, 2005

Today's Quotes

Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp. - Bob Ettinger

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
- Robert Heinlein

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November 10, 2005

Tweaks

When I changed the look of this blog I didn't have time to update the About and Writing sections. I finally got around to doing that and also added some new items. In the About section, you'll find a page titled "This and That" which is a list of miscellaneous this-and-that about moi. In the Writing section, there are some new tales of whatever (hey, I like that: 'Tales of Whatever" -- maybe I'll change the section name to that one.) Anyway, the Wrting section includes The Clumsy Chronicles, which reflects my unbelievable dexterity in everyday life as well as what I call Dusted Digressions, where I dumped everything else. :-)

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November 7, 2005

26 Things for November

A new photographic scavenger hunt has been posted over at the 26 Things site. This one should be a lot of fun... I'm already stuck on photos to represent flaunt and understated. The completed list isn't due until the beginning of December.

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November 2, 2005

What are You Wearing?

A smile.

It's all in your interpretation of the question. (wink)

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November 1, 2005

How COULD YOU!

Family rumor has it that my mother has signed up for computer classes at her local library. I am HIGHLY OFFENDED. There's something seriously wrong when your own mother refuses to let you teach her how to use a goddamn computer. I'm SO hurt.

Someone sedate me. It is obvious that I need it. Better yet, I'll take a hot oil massage to make me forget this personal injustice. (grin)

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