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June 26, 2007
It's time to retire the helpful hat
The city is hot and humid today. It's one of those days when you'd like to stuff what feels like your Pillsbury Dough Boy self into the nearest refrigeration unit. As I walked back from the store, I caught sight of an elderly woman who was walking slowly with a cane, busy talking to the air while crossing a side street. She was headed in the direction of a busy street to the left of her, angling toward oncoming traffic. As I stood at the corner waiting for the traffic light to change, I saw another woman watching also -- I thought perhaps she was with the woman with the cane. As I saw the one woman walk past and stand next to me on the corner, I realized that wasn't the case.
Both of us had our eyes locked onto the woman with the cane as she proceeded to walk right into the street and into the path of oncoming traffic. Whether it was the heat of the day or dementia or disorientation, the woman with the cane was flirting with danger. She shuffled toward us at this point, and we both thought for a second that she was going to stand at the corner; she didn't. She kept on going and passed in front of me, right into the lane where cars were flying past.
With horrific visions rapidly filling my brain I called out and tried to stop her. She stopped, turned around and faced me, and like Tiger Woods swinging a golf club, she hit my arm with her cane and then proceeded to smash it across my kneecaps while screaming obscenities.
To say I was temporarily stunned is putting it mildly.
The woman standing next to me said "Oh my god!" when the woman hit me with her cane. When I stopped asking myself questions such as "Did she just do what I think she did?" and "Who was it that said it's good to be nice and helpful?" I made a mental note of "Damn, I'll never do THAT again." Then I did what any other person would do after trying to save someone from imminent danger and possible death:
I laughed.
As I watched the woman proceed up the busy street while strolling alongside the traffic, my knees suddenly beckoned to me by bellowing out in a sing-songy, guess-who's-awake indication that something was awry in their neck o' the woods. I'll live, and I really hope that the woman with the cane does too.
Cindy
Comments
....and survived to write about it.
Brain matter deposited by: RONW on June 27, 2007 12:50 AM
Squip:
You know, that is a wonderful New York story. It really is! You should put together a collection of really good New York stories from over the years... I know how much time you have for projects right now. (not)
Your sometimes partner in crime,
Ken
Brain matter deposited by: KensterJ on June 27, 2007 2:24 AM
Ken - I should. Unfortunately I can't think of the tales other than the baby stroller incident. If you remember any, fire off an email to me (along with that photo of the baby tadpole.) *chuckle*
RonW - yup, still here. :-)
Brain matter deposited by: Cindy on June 27, 2007 9:48 AM
Sounds like your Guardian Angel just earned a merit mark. Hope the encounter with the cane hasn't resulted in any permanent damage.
Brain matter deposited by: The Gray Monk on June 27, 2007 5:26 PM
Pat - my Guardian Angel has been slacking off lately; he/she should have made sure the knees were spared! :-)
Brain matter deposited by: Cindy on July 10, 2007 7:17 PM