Meanwhile it's 1000 degrees and humid outside. I need not expound on how hot it was because by today, I'm sure some of you have caught that little tidbit on the news and it's not as if the rest of the U.S. didn't have that same heat wave. (I know Europe had the heat wave also.) So we've all been melting like chocolate bars left in a hot oven but I'm in nurse mode so it's not top of mind. Getting mom to the hospital ER is the priority. It only took us an hour and a half to convince her she needed to go there. Mom was sitting there trying her best to pretend she wasn't in a lot of pain; she put on her poker face and claimed she was okay, that the shoulder would *magically* (this, after 3 previous incidents) put itself back into its socket. Rotator cuffs aside, it was obvious she couldn't keep up the farce much longer. Dressing her was a free-for-all; mom didn't want help and was determined to do it herself, nevermind that this was, uhm, difficult. A half hour or so later we were in the car and off to the hospital.

My sister drove and soon it became evident that I should have been behind the wheel, as she decided to take what I call the 'scenic route' to the hospital. It was still early enough in the morning that the ER at the hospital might not have too many people in it and I wanted us to get there like yesterday. Eventually my sister righted her wrong turns and we're there, a brief period of 1000-degree heat and then into the frigid air conditioning of the ER. Now the fun part begins. The process from Point A (filling out paperwork) to Point B (graduating from paperwork to the waiting area) to Point C (entry into the actual ER) to Point D (being assigned a spot in the ER) to Point E (having vitals taken by an ER nurse) to Point F (being given some sort of something for the pain) to Point G (being taken for x-rays) to Point H (being seen by an actual ER doctor) to Point I (being given the happy juice) to Point J (shuffling the daughters out of the ER) to Point K (wrapping sheets around mom, capturing that runaway shoulder, wrestling it to the ground (okay I'm getting carried away here) and slapping the handcuffs on (in this case, a body brace.) Point L (mom is in and out of happy land, unaware that anything went on, thinking her dislocation is still a runaway.) Point M (more x-rays) Point N (monitoring the vitals) Point O (continues to be monitored) Point P (permission to depart the premises - mom: "But they haven't put the shoulder back in yet!") Point Q (quick, get me those x-rays!) Point R (sitting around waiting another half hour for the x-rays) Point S (7 hours later, soon we'll be home.)

I failed to mention mom's ER doctor. I've seen more than enough ER doctors and this guy looked like he was fresh out of medical school. My nieces would have swooned but I simply admired his bedside manner and extremely serious demeanor. Good for you Doctor McDreamy, because I was watching you. One wrong move and you'd be outta there. The last time my mom dislocated her shoulder, a crunchy granola ER doc put her shoulder back in its socket without any meds; need I say more? Her screams could be heard in the waiting room, that's how bad it was. There was no way in hell I'd let that happen again, and my sister and I made sure of it. I was awash in gratitude (is that possible?) that the ER doc did it right. YAY you.

While all of the above was taking place, my friend Ken was patiently sitting here in NYC watching the plans we'd made weeks ago melt away in a nanosecond. Thankfully he understood the circumstances and though I'm here now (temporarily off-duty) in NYC, we've yet to see each other. We had planned to visit a local wildlife refuge and take all these great photographs of ... duh... wildlife, but oh well, it wasn't meant to be. While I was busy playing nurse, Ken experienced his own nightmares almost an hour after his plane landed and he's still cleaning up that mess. I think we both need a stiff drink or five.

Meanwhile back at the funny farm, that's where I've been this week and what I've been up to. Nevermind the client that somehow didn't manage to put the check in the mail (thank you very little), the fact that it's stifling hot here and the dead 'common household pest' I found on the floor of my apartment when I returned. At the present time the dead pest is residing under an overweight catalog that happened to crash down upon said pest by yours truly. I left it there until the coroner (in this case that would be Ken) shows up. I ain't touching that thing.

And there ya have it.