Dusting My Brain: Who's to say a coyote can't take a vacation?

March 22, 2006

Who's to say a coyote can't take a vacation?

Meanwhile back at the funny farm...

Not too long ago, in fact it was Valentines Day to be exact, a super-huge extra-large bucket full of buffalo shit landed on my head. That's expressing it in a nice way. No, it has nothing to do with romance or anything remotely near that; let's just say it could possibly result in paying out boku bucks that I just don't have. Please, don't ask.

Thy name is stress.

Some weeks later, the critters entered the picture. You already know where we left off with THAT incident.

Thy name is stress.

So I left.

Before I left the city I had my hair chopped off. Seemed like a good time to delete 10 inches of luscious locks. I donated my silky mane [that millions of men have run their fingers through (yes that's a joke)] to an organization that makes hairpieces for kids that need 'em due to various medical conditions. After that was done, then I REALLY left.

Thy name is stress with less hair.

While I was gone, a coyote came to visit New York City. In typical tourist fashion, the cuddly coyote quickly crept into NYC's Central Park, traipsing past the reservoir, zoo and some wilderness areas. Who could blame it really? Who's to say that a coyote can't take a vacation and come to NYC to feast on some ducks and other birds, leaving piles of feathers after each meal as its tip. Unfortunately for said coyote, the Department of Homeland Security dispatched local officials to hunt down the coyote after discovering it entered the city without the proper credentials. Television stations showed footage from a helicopter of police and park rangers running through the park in hot pursuit, and this morning the critter was captured via piercings with tranquilizer darts. In case you were wondering, evidently this coyote did not howl at the moon, though it makes you wonder who was around to verify that reported fact.

*sniff* Smells like a dead mouse somewhere... maybe in the walls since there's nothing within sight of my ever-enlarged and bulging eyeballs staring out at everything, looking for any minute bit of movement.

This post is dedicated to anyone currently suffering from a severe bout of stress-induced brain drain. Can't have the highs without the lows, right?

One more thing. Though it pains me considerably to have to include this, but in this day and age there's little choice, the DOHS (that's short for Dept of Homeland Security) was NOT involved in the coyote chase. At least not that I am aware of. winky wink. :-)

Cindy

Comments

FYI, reports of my demise was greatly exaggerated.

Brain matter deposited by: WILLIE COYOTE on March 22, 2006 8:48 PM

When the stress gets overpowering, I turn to the guitar. No, playing soothing music doesn't cut it... gimme' a break. Cranking it up to deafening levels and then ripping the strings off of it - one by one. Now *that* relieves stress. It's kinda' like scream therapy, only much, much louder.

Brain matter deposited by: mike on March 23, 2006 12:38 AM

When I'm stressed, I take a bath, drink some alcohol and then sleep. Sometimes not in that order.

Brain matter deposited by: Paul on March 23, 2006 12:41 AM

Sounds like ya need a holiday. I would suggest down-under but we have really big mice that hop so maybe that is not such a good idea....

Brain matter deposited by: Ozg on March 23, 2006 4:47 AM

We don't have any coyotes though.

Just dingos.

Which eat babies.

And crocodiles which eat tourists.

Brain matter deposited by: Ozg on March 23, 2006 4:49 AM

but I thought all those OZ mice wore boxing gloves .. wouldn't that be a fair fight? (or picture?)

Brain matter deposited by: sdy on March 23, 2006 4:49 AM

Just re-reading and it made me think of the phrase "when the bovine excrement hits the rapid air movement device, it is time for all good men to holiday" :-)

Brain matter deposited by: Ozg on March 23, 2006 4:50 AM

We don't have coyote's or dingo's or crocodiles.

We've got worms and slugs. Do they count?

And do we get to see the new 'almost hairless' you?

Do you look like Kylie Minogue now?

I'm only askin'

Brain matter deposited by: Piggy and Tazzy on March 23, 2006 5:17 AM

i've got newts.

lots and lots of luvverly newts.

coyotes sound nasty. i bet they bite.

why did you disappear without even telling me ? i'm going to have to find my kids now who i sent out in search of you. i think todd may be in mexico, so if you see a sombrero on legs, that'll be him.

Brain matter deposited by: zed on March 23, 2006 5:58 AM

Raccoons are the deal here. I looked out the window last week to see two of them waddling down the sidewalk. Quite odd.

Brain matter deposited by: shiftclick on March 23, 2006 9:24 AM

ShiftClick - Welcome! Raccoons, eh? Eww. Garbage dwellers, those things.
Zed - Todd's here. I sent him out for ice cream.
Ozg - a holiday: what a concept!
Paul - sounds like a plan!
Mike - hmm....
Ron - yukyuk :-)

Brain matter deposited by: Cindy on March 23, 2006 1:05 PM

Oops! Left out P&T in my responses. Sorry U2.
er, photos of new hair? Not yet. when I have one I'll be sure to slap it up here (or email it to you if it's particularly nasty looking.)
:-)

Brain matter deposited by: Cindy on March 23, 2006 1:08 PM

PS - You *know* you're dying to tell us all about this catastrophe that happened on V-Day and sent you into this funky tailspin. Otherwise you wouldn't have brought it up. Or maybe it's just my rebellious gene acting up. Don't ask indeed...

Brain matter deposited by: mike on March 24, 2006 2:16 AM

Mike - it's not a catastrophe but an intense situation. I can't determine its outcome nor do I have any control over it. And you know that if I wanted to provide details I would -- some things you just don't want to spell out in this space. I brought it up because we all encounter situations that are unpleasant and sometimes it's helpful to mention that all is not happy happy joy joy. Besides, a smart guy like you can figure it out without me having to spell it out. :-)

Brain matter deposited by: Cindy on March 24, 2006 9:17 AM

Winter blues.

Brain matter deposited by: Kat on March 24, 2006 4:31 PM

I'm certain the newly trimmed locks are as beautiful as ever!

Stress... hrm... I drink... always.

Hang in there, you make life better for the rest of us by bein' in it.

Brain matter deposited by: BLUE on March 28, 2006 2:12 PM