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March 3, 2006
Black Shadow
When the corner of my eye registered a black shadow on the floor, at first I thought it was my own shadow that developed from overhead lights above me. After a double-take, I realized that it wasn't my shadow but an intruder, a non-resident of my dwelling. Instinct had me leaping out of my chair, my heart beating wildly, the words holy fucking shit! flying out of my mouth. My eyes fixed on the floor and I stood there and watched the critter scurry into the garbage bag that lay on the floor in the kitchen. After what seemed like minutes of staring at the bag, even though I know it was mere seconds, my brain rapidly searched for the mental file folder labelled "weapons." What was handy? I thought. My data search complete, I settled for a flat wet mop and a flat dust mop and grabbed them both.
Slowly, quietly, I approached the rustle in the bag on the floor. I gingerly placed the edge of one mop under the corner of the bag and folded it over, closing the bag. Uncontrollable rage ensued. I slammed and pummeled and hammered away at the bag on the floor and didn't stop until I felt that whatever could be alive was rendered lifeless. Eyes ablaze yet transfixed on the bag, the dark outline of SOMETHING in the bag registered in my brain. I hoped it was what I thought it was and quickly set the mental tape to rewind for items deposited in the newly created coffin: tissues, cardboard, no food items....
When my rage abated, my mind addressed disposal of the dead body. I knew I didn't want to pick up the bag for fear that the thing inside the bag might only be dazed and not dead. A mental horror film of the critter leaping out of the bag began to play in my mind, and I immediately stopped the film. No need to cause further shock to my system by venturing down THAT road. I quickly deduced that since no one was around to help me, it was up to me to get rid of the body and quickly.
I pulled a clear plastic bag from the cupboard and opened it, and faster than you can say the word MOUSE, grabbed the bag off the floor, put it in the larger bag, tied it up (in case pummeling didn't work asphyxiation would be guaranteed,) grabbed my keys, flew out the door, down the stairs and out the door to the garbage pails, where I deposited the offensive and hopefully deceased carcass.
It took hours before my breathing returned to normal. Thoughts of critter relatives scurrying around my home induced nausea; there would be no dinner this evening, replaced by a human being ready to defend itself and ready to pounce on the slightest noise or perceived movement.
I have had more than my share of construction noise, critters and even birds down the chimney. Experiencing intruders such as the one I encountered is part and parcel when living in the city but I am done. This was the very last straw. I am SO done.
Cindy
Comments
so I take it you didn't name it? at least last rites before the garbage is picked up?
Brain matter deposited by: sdy on March 4, 2006 4:21 AM
Oh the cruelty!
I'm reporting you to animal cruelty right away.
Then we're going to erect a little shrine in the corner of our bedroom to the wee mouse, to remember and celebrate it's wee life, it's wee adventures and it's horribly cruel end to it's short wee life.
*cries*
Brain matter deposited by: Piggy and Tazzy on March 5, 2006 5:38 AM
P&T: I don't go disrupting their homes, so they shouldn't disrupt mine, period. You go ahead and report me; any intruder in my home would receive the same treatment :P
Steve - actually yes, I named it 'SOB' :-)
Brain matter deposited by: Cindy on March 5, 2006 10:10 AM
We've been battling the vermin here lately as the drought has caused them to come inside by hook or by crook to find what it is they want. Traps and peanut butter fill the attic and still we hear the little scratchers above our heads in the early A.M. Our brave outdoor Birman, Bun Mah, has handily (pawily?) dispatched three of them and we await to see if he's now eliminated the majority. I hope that this is the last beastie you have to deal with this season.
Brain matter deposited by: Aron on March 5, 2006 11:05 AM
well, then better never move to the countryside, sweetheart... more creatures around your house than cells in your brain....
Brain matter deposited by: pheerce on March 6, 2006 10:42 AM
P - as you know, there's a big difference between the countryside, where critters are the norm and the city, where even though we know they're around it doesn't mean they're welcome.
Brain matter deposited by: Cindy on March 6, 2006 11:25 AM
Christina and I have always subscribed to the notion that things deserve to live... but not in our house.
Brain matter deposited by: BLUE on March 6, 2006 11:31 AM
you threw away a perfectly good meal?
Brain matter deposited by: mr tan on March 6, 2006 12:21 PM
Mr. Tan - /vomits.
Brain matter deposited by: Cindy on March 6, 2006 1:29 PM
and there i was, thinking you were talking about a spider. a mouse, tch.
Brain matter deposited by: zed on March 6, 2006 3:24 PM
Looks like I might have to refer a friend over here to share war stories :)
Brain matter deposited by: Greg on March 7, 2006 7:18 AM