I went to Pennsylvania with the hope of landing in some sort of a calming mental state of mind. I managed to visit a couple of places I'd gone to as a child and snapped some photos and fed the deer. This was all squeezed into time spent washing windows and vacuuming and moving furniture out into the garage and killing big spiders. The underlying current of pressure remained, and my attempts to banish it from my brain proved futile. I wasn't a basket case but I was indeed a stress puppy. Vigorous exercise didn't make a dent. Been there, done that, didn't change anything.

In between, around and somewhat book-ended to the above-mentioned things, I've had weekly visits to the dentist, where major road work is taking place. Well, not really. It just seems bigger than it really is. For me to have visited the dentist so often in one year is a huge deal. I just realized that's something else I commited to this year and have managed to stick with. Yay for me.

Also creeping into this saga is the back-and-forth I've been doing to my mom's house. She's just at that age folks; she stresses about a gazillion things, we have lengthy phone conversations when I'm not there and I try my best to reassure her about her children - that they're all adults and can fend for themselves. But hey, she's a mother and that's what mothers do, they worry about their kids. Any parent can relate to that. As one of five kids, it would be nice if the attention to mom was spread around a bit, but only two of the five bother. Sometimes that gets stuck in my craw so deeply that implosion feels imminent.

Later this evening I'm headed back out once again, travelling to mom's for a few days sans laptop. Nevermind all of my own crap (work, etc.) that I've got on my mind. I frequently fantasize about moving clear across the country or even out of it completely. I'm like a kid who wants to run away from home, never to return. Yup. That's what I'm feeling like today. Tomorrow is another day.