Date: Mon, 17 Jul 1995 13:20:42 -0600
From: ------------ [Durango, Colorado]
Subject: Application for Toe Suck Position

Dearest:

Remember me? I'm the toe-sucker who sent a letter admiring your home page a few net-years (5 minutes) ago.

I'm going to assume you own a Mac and include a sound clip. Creative people do clips and you give the distinct impression of creativity. (Along with mild schizophrenia, which I'll ignore for the moment.) If you own a PC our romance is over with before you finish this sentence. A few exceptions can be made, (but only for love or $.)

Trying to "educate" a PC person about the glory of owning and using a Mac -- BEING a Mac person -- is like trying to explain advanced lovemaking to a 11-year-old male who is fixated on wacking off while peeking at Penthouse. He's convinced that's as good as it will ever get and there's no telling him otherwise. Land of the blind. If you are a PC person and this offends you, let me take you gently by the hand. It'll be ok. I can teach you.

So, darling, anyway, I've attached a sample of my more humorous writing to make you laugh, for I've found that if I can make an intelligent and sometimes-takes and makes-herself-too-serious lady such as yourself laugh, well, nevermind. So plunge right in! Read it!

The sound clip expresses (at least on Macintosh computers) how I feel about encountering an intelligent AND irreverant woman on the net, whom I am going to make giggle endlessley...... do you have a gif available? Sorry its so big. (The sound clip)

Tell me its true. You're a goddess of beauty too. I knew it. I just knew it.

Awaiting your reply,
Your soon-to-be chief of all toe-suckers and grape-boys
------------------------------ (gif not available, but I'm an Adonis, hold the grape leaf)