oh you poor thing :( tea with fresh lemon, grated ginger, honey, aspirin and a measure of whiskey and you should feel much better.

and here's a really, really funny joke :

2 men walk into a bar.
ouch.

Did you hear about the Eskimo who rubbed noses so indiscriminately that he contracted snyphilis?

Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

An old fashioned coupled married and were preparing to spend their first night together.

The groom removes his shoes and his toes are all gnarly. His new bride blanches and he says, "I thought you'd seen my feet before! I had tolio when I was a kid, and that's why they look twisted like that."

"Tolio? Don't you mean polio?"

"No, but that sounds similar. Tolio is a rare disease that only affects your toes."

He took off his pants, and she exclaimed: "Sweetie! What's the matter with your knees?!"

"That's why I don't wear shorts. I thought I'd told you. I had kneezles when I was a kid."

"Kneezles? Don't you mean measles?"

"No. But that one sounds kind of similar too. Kneezles is another rare disease. It makes your knees look like cauliflower. I'm sorry they startled you."

Then he dropped his boxers with a gleam in his eye and the new bride wailed, "Oh my God! Don't tell me that you had smallcox, too!"