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May 16, 2004
Are You Happy With Your Ass?
That's today's spam inquiry.
Well geez, I never thought about it before. Is this something I've (obviously) overlooked all these years? Should I be standing in front of my full-length mirror, twisting my upper body like a pretzel just to look over my shoulder and check it out? Maybe it would be simpler to go and ask people, "uh, excuse me, should I be happy with my ass?" Hmm. My ass: a veritable smorgasbord of dairy products. The padding I constantly fall on, the tarmacadam for my clumsiness.
A long time ago there was a photo of yours truly that one of my family members took of me at a beach. The two-piece bathing suit I was wearing had bottoms featuring a striped design that made my backside look like the ass of a horse. Needless to say, the photo was quickly destroyed along with the negatives. I immediately went on a diet and, well, that was the end of the horse's ass.
Of course, my interpretation of the spam question might be incorrect. After all, the sender could have meant, "are you happy with your horse's ass, jackass, smartass, pain-in-the-ass ...?" If so, my response would be that I can't say, as I've none of those present at the moment.
Since I didn't open up that piece of email, I'll assume that the content reflected dietary recommendations or some new smart pill for ass-size shrinkage (Can't you just see the copy for it -- "Don't delay! Shrink your ass today!") Then there are those comments I've heard ever since the horse's ass departed -- "nice ass!" -- and other backside-related descriptions. Uh huh. Me and my ass: happy, happy, happy. ;-)
Cindy
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Comments
Funny you should ask this... I took the kids to see Mum on the weekend and her neighbour's ass is one of the attractions. The kids took turns feeding it grass....
Brain matter deposited by: Ozguru on May 16, 2004 10:18 PM
You came up with a good slogan for the product - the least they can do is send free samples even if you don't need 'em.
They also sell pills for ass enlarging and the ads are aimed at women. Why any woman would pay to pills to make her ass BIGGER is beyond me.
Brain matter deposited by: Kat on May 17, 2004 12:06 PM
Kat - yup, ass-enlarging, just in case you want J-Lo's ass - but why not go the easy route and get one of those padded butt thingies from Fredericks of Hollywood - the invisible fanny panty.
http://www.fredericks.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=Holiday2002&category%5Fname=Panties-In+Control&product%5Fid=51371
Brain matter deposited by: Cindy on May 17, 2004 6:21 PM
I know quite a few women who could use a larger ass. But to use a pill for it? I guess it doesn't work the same way that it does for men and their smaller parts.
Brain matter deposited by: paul on May 17, 2004 11:19 PM