February 5, 2003
7:30 a.m. EST
Getting myself back on a 'normal' schedule is not happening as quickly as I'd like, but as they say, (and who is 'they' anyway?) ONE DAY AT A TIME ...
Now that my friend Linda's relatives have returned to their homes on the West Coast, I've got the time to really think about her sudden and untimely death ... yes, she was ill, but we (her friends and family) all thought that her illness was treatable and she'd recover, simply because that's what she told us. It ended up that this was not true. Perhaps she didn't provide all the details because she was trying to protect us; she was a very private person and most likely wanted to keep this information to herself. Still, I wish I'd known so I could have done more for her. The greatest gift I was given during her illness and hospital stay was the day she awoke from the 7-day coma she was in. She was lucid, talking away, and completely 'normal' ... no pain, no aches, no recollection of those who visited her and whispered a number of things in her ear (things that, IMHO, never should have been spoken.) I'm grateful for the time I spent with her that day, how we laughed and carried on when she kept commenting about how good looking all the doctors were. *sigh* I miss her quite a bit.
The service for Linda was held at her church last Thursday. I was asked by one of her friends to say something about Linda, a sort of eulogy ... as it was this one friend's opinion that I knew her best out of all her friends. Though not one who can write on demand, I managed to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper and when the time came, gave it to her pastor to read aloud during the service. Yes, I could have done this myself, but the danger here is turning into a blubbering idiot, and since I didn't know how I'd feel at that moment, I chose the safe route.
Changing the thought matter to other news, my youngest brother has discovered this page. It's pretty funny when you're chatting on the phone and he brings up things that he read about here ... :-)
Managed to get to Barnes & Noble over the weekend. I had the urge to buy books (gee, what a surprise) -- and found myself in my favorite aisle upstairs, COMPUTERS. Heh, some things never change. It made me recall the time I was there many years ago, sitting on the floor in that very aisle, explaining how to build a Web site to a woman who wanted to have one in order to feature her prized show dogs. Anyway, this particular memory is highly amusing to me, especially since while I was there this past weekend, I stumbled upon a book about Blogging of all things. No, I didn't buy it, but I did grab one on HTML/CSS/XHTML. I also picked up Dave Eggers' book, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and a sketchbook ... I suppose one could surmise I've varying interests.
February 6, 2003
12:45 p.m. EST
Just When You Thought it Was Safe to Get Out of Bed
I didn't think anything of it when my mother told me on the phone yesterday to not call her later on, that she would be out for the evening. She knew I was in the midst of preparing for an early morning meeting and wished me luck. She also said my younger brother was stopping by to do some banking for her.
Upon returning from my meeting this morning, I asked her how her evening was. Her reply, "I lied."
"You LIED?" I said. "What did you REALLY do?"
Contrary to her storytelling, mom re-dislocated her left shoulder when she went to get up and out of her bed yesterday morning. The same shoulder that the crunchy granola ER doctor slammed back into its socket last May. When you dislocate a body part, the pain is unbearable. I've not done this myself, but I know because my older sister has that same 'trick' shoulder and has done it more times than most of us care to know. When you see someone in THAT much pain, you know it really, really hurts.
Anyway, mom knew that if she told me she needed help I would have been there as fast as lightning. She chose NOT to tell me because she didn't want to screw up my schedule. (duh!!!) Problem is, now I'll not believe anything she says ever again. I'll always be wondering if she's telling me the truth or if she's sitting there in pain because of some sort of mishap. Thankfully my brother got to her house and helped her out the door to the doctor, though I hear that this was a comedy unto itself, as mom wasn't exactly dressed for 'going out.'
*sigh*
February 10, 2003
11:20 p.m. EST
Pre-Valentine's Day Musings
Note: If you're not all that familiar with tech chatter, (apologies to my brother Tommy, but I'll be speaking tech speak for this section) then don't read this section. Skip to the next section. (If you're lucky, there will be a 'next' section.)
I think men should be judged with the same exact criteria used for, say, purchasing a machine that will give 256 high-performance nodes in one rack. For example, when considering such a investment, (if you've got that kind of money or funding), things one would take into consideration include the following "abilities":
- Reliability
- Availability
- Scalability
- Manageability
- Serviceability
Also known as RAMSS... [Since I think discrimination sucks, this can also be applied to women. See my feelings about that very topic in the brain dusting that follows.] That's my two cents on that.
Now that I've Crawled Back Under the Rock ...
ION, I haven't been writing all that much here. Lots of emails, but little-to-no postings here. I verbally regurgitated more words than any human has a right to over the weekend. I suppose you could say that I Rotor-Rootered my backlog of words...
I have to hop back up on the soapbox and add just one more wisenheimer remark about techie things. The reason there aren't many females interested in computer science is most likely due to the reaction they receive when they express interest. "You don't need to know this..." Me: "I may not NEED to know it, but I WANT TO KNOW HOW IT WORKS." End of soapbox rant.
As you can surmise by reading this non-sensical piece of mindless blathering, I truly have absolutely nothing to write about. It snowed in NYC today (wow.) The world has gone mad. (newsflash?) The Beatles' sang Ticket to Ride - which remains one of my all-time favorite tunes. Tomorrow I go see mumsy and give her some TLC.
Over and out.
February 11, 2003
7:22 a.m. EST
For some unknown reason, yesterday I was thinking about all the help I received in the early days of learning about computers, the Web and the Internet. There was a time, say around 1994-1995, that I had a complete network of people teaching me one thing or another -- I had a friend who not only helped me understand my computer (though today this remains debatable) but also taught me about Unix, another friend who taught me Photoshop, another who laughed that I'd even attempt to learn HTML without the use of an HTML editor. These friends are now scattered across the country -- and I remember when one of the boyz was hired to work in Europe -- that was so cool. He had never been there, but the opportunity was priceless for him. It's a great feeling when folks from other countries respect and admire your skillset, and hire you to work for them...
But I am digressing here. Point is, I miss all of that. I was working at one of the first TWO Web development companies in 1995, and when the company moved to new office space, my office was just 2 doors away from the massive (it was massive to me at the time) server room. A glass-enclosed space that had its own controlled air conditioning ... no, the technology was not a part of my job in that sense. Just the fact that I was so close to it, and that my office was right next to the 'Webmaster' (I can't remember was his title became later on) and right across the hall from all the programmers, was more interesting to me than being near top management (located on the other side of the floor.) For someone who was so green about technology yet willing to inhale as much of it as possible, I considered myself quite fortunate that others were willing to teach me. What a great feeling it is to reflect on that moment in time ...
Even though my tech studies have been severely limited over the past years, I still get excited over things like server rooms. I've not seen one for quite a while, and I know that the opportunities to be near one are extremely limited. However, I'm still rocked by technology. I downloaded MT not too long ago. And even though I read through all of it, I've not even attempted it yet. [Of course having an ISP that is as useless doesn't help -- either it's the ISP or my local phone company or a combo of the two. I digress again...] Anyway, the point is that I do indeed have something in my bloodstream that keeps me attracted to technology, even if the only technology I'm around these days is my own laptop w/my lame ass dial-up connection or my cell phone, which thankfully has text messaging (yes, we can talk about the fact that the US was so painfully behind Europe in this respect.) Do I want to surf the Web on my cell -- ? er, no. Not necessary for me. Just the fact that it is now possible is enough.
And how many email addresses do I have now? Well let's see. Three on one ISP. Two on another ISP and another two more on yet another ... do I need this many? Well, yeah. One set is for personal email (not as bad as it sounds; I can't help it if this particular ISP was acquired by another company, thereby creating three email accounts) - the next one I use for business, the last and most recent one for a new business I began. And one day ... one day I'll have my own server. That would be so cool. I've always wanted my own server. Would I know what to do with it once I got it? Well ... there was a time when I didn't know what to do with a computer in the 80s ... I'm sure I could figure it out.
But for now, I'll just end this chatter about technology by recalling a comment made to me by the publisher of a woman's magazine. She had been in our offices, and we were trying to win the business of building their first Web site. My boss at the time told her that I had built my own Web site. When I walked her to the elevator at the end of our meeting, she turned and said to me, "so you've built your own Web site? I can think of better things to do with my spare time." At the time, I said nothing. My feeling was, "ouch." Today, my response to that comment would be, "yeah, whatever." [big smile]
February 13, 2003
3:56 p.m. EST
The View from Here
New York City is but a dot on the landscape of the United States of America, a dot which suffered an eye-opening attack on September 11. It was an occurence (I dare not call it an 'event,' which evokes thoughts of pleasantries) that shocked not only the US but surprised the rest of the world. I guess folks here and around the world have forgotten that the US did nothing to warrant such a vicious attack. On the contrary, we've extended our welcome to everyone worldwide; and many came here. Starting new businesses, new lives, hoping for something better than what they came from. And with the chance to do so, they took us up on our US hospitality.
There are those who hate America. Despise what it represents. Freedom. Life. Liberty. The pursuit of happiness. Those of us who today walk around New York City - who live and work here - don't maintain the "normal" life we were urged to keep on September 12. Sure, we give a grand performance by making it look like it's normal. But I can tell you, it is not NORMAL. It is perception versus reality. No matter where you are in the city these days, you experience the constant reminder of a city on a constant terror alert. In the train station, police and National Guard all over the place. The subway stations - transit police both on and off the subway trains. Police cars everywhere. Helicopters overhead. You'd have to have your head stuck in the concrete not to see it around you.
And maybe, just maybe, it really bothers you, while the 'rest of your life' is going on. You see headlines on newspapers at newsstands screaming of an overwrought editor's personal feelings -- and you despise the media even more for contributing nothing but hot air. And you wonder who, among the people passing you on the street, reads and believes ... [pause: TV - Breaking News Security Briefing: NYC Police Headquarters] ..."unfortunately, the new reality for Americans and New Yorkers is living under the fear of terrorist attacks ... unfortunately something those in other countries around the world have already experienced ..."
We are all human beings. Period. We are absolutely no different than the next human - we just live in a different country. And while all of this is being experienced by this one particular resident of New York City, the "regular" life no longer exists, because "regular" has disappeared. Instead, life now has a permanent, irregular component, and that's just the way it is.
February 16, 2003
4:57 a.m. EST
Partial Caffeine
I like my morning coffee. I look forward to it. It sits next to my laptop like a good dog sits next to a good owner. But one doesn't begin their day properly if there's little-to-no coffee left to make. HORRORS! How did I possibly overlook this? Distracted perhaps. Bitterly cold weather can help you forget a lot, as you're in too much of a rush to get back indoors ...
But as always, I digress. What makes the two cups left in the bottom of the can even worse is that friend Donald and I were just discussing coffee yesterday. He called from a park in San Francisco where he had taken daughter Bethany to play. He brought up my non-favorite coffee house Starbucks, and then mentioned that he was soon to be out of his favorite Zabar's coffee beans. Anyway, I guess I was too busy thinking about how many bags I'd pick up and ship to him and completely overlooked my own coffee supply.
And 5 a.m. in the morning in New York City is bound to turn up a hot pot of coffee somewhere; however, the thought of venturing out in the bitter cold is not something that thrills me, nor this particular hour of the day. I do have enough tea bags to satisfy the little caffeine addict that I am ... and if THAT is your biggest problem in life, Cindy, [this is where I am talking to myself] well ... you've got it pretty good.
ION, Donald recommended some books for me to pick up the next time I pop into Amazon or Barnes & Noble. His current recommendations include Who's Who in Hell, Kitchen Confidential and Around the World in a Bad Mood -- book titles that seem to work perfectly for me. I had recently picked up Carl Hiassen's Sick Puppy though I've not begun reading it yet. A good book is like ... hmm. What's a good analogy here? Okay. Here's a goofy one. A good book is like a good cup of coffee.
...needs caffeine NOW ...
February 17, 2003
4:57 a.m. EST
Fully Caffeinated
No, you're not seeing things. What the hell is up with this awake at 4 a.m. event that is presently underway? It's not like New York City is in the midst of the usual cold weather for this time of year and one stays hidden under the covers for as long as possible. On the contrary, it is indeed COLD and at the same time, blanketed with numerous layers of HEAVY SNOW ... it began yesterday evening and is still going ...
Obviously I am as well. I began yesterday at 4 a.m. and what a surprise, I'm here again. Perhaps I am preoccupied?
Before I forget, hey Adam. That guy from the SF Gate, what a jackass.
ION, it's way too early to do anything right now except sit here, troll the Web and read and drink my coffee. In a couple of hours I'll bundle up and venture out-of-doors to see if the Sony digital camera will cooperate with me during this, ahem, blizzard. If so, I'll post some "live from NYC" snow photos.
That's all for now.
7:54 a.m. EST
Walking in a Winter Wonderland
There's something to be deeply appreciated when a major snowstorm hits New York City. Suddenly everything is clean and fresh -- and if the snowfall is heavy enough, no cars, no noise. All you hear are the birds chirping and the hum of the snowplows ...
As mentioned earlier, I bundled myself up and zipped up my parka and ventured outside. It was great. No one was outside. Snow was up to my kneecaps and that's pretty deep considering I do not lack in the length of leg category. The plows that had come by earlier left piles of snow at each end of my street, making the climb in the snow even deeper. I have to admit, it's darn good exercise, trudging along in the snow. There's automatic resistance because there's so much snow and being the clumsy person I am, if I tripped over my own feet it wouldn't have had any serious effect. Luckily for me I managed to stay upright on my walk.
February 22, 2003
8:42 a.m. EST
Rain, Rain, Go Away!!
The weather forecast for today and tomorrow: heavy rains and flooding, then temperature dipping ... hmm ... so that means that the snow on the ground and on rooftops will melt, and that anything wet will turn to ice. Can you say, slip and slide? Thankfully, I'm getting my butt out of the city for a few days to concentrate on some work that needs to be done. Hopefully by the time I return here the city will not have become a huge ice skating rink.
ION - I noticed that I've not much to say here lately. What's up with THAT?