August 01, 2003
August
And yes ladies and gentlemen, this is it, the final stretch of the summer. Blink your eyes once and it'll be gone, just like that *POOF*! I thought a new month deserved a new look. Let's just say that the red, white, black wasn't working for me. And actually, while I'm on that topic, the layout doesn't work for me either. I long for the days when I was not easily swayed by other folks telling me what I should do here. I mean, I'm not a graphic designer, and I'm by no stretch a wizard when it comes to tech stuff. But I have been known to sling some mean HTML in my day, and yes, I have the press clippings to prove it. (For those of you who doubt me.) And maybe my day has come and gone, my 15 minutes of fame, when my web site was throttled for 3 months by my ISP because there were so many accesses. (I think that was 1995.) So what I'm trying to say here, and not doing such a good job getting it from the brain on down to the keyboard, is this... I realize that I've been fighting this box that you've been reading. I'm not a left-side writer and I'm not a right-side writer, I'm a right-smack-in-the-middle writer. That's exactly what my web page looked like before I used MT. A sample of that look and feel is used on my stories pages.
So it's not an MT problem. It's not a design problem per se, it's simply a cramping, a claustrophobia of the limitations of my technical ability. Although I do indeed know my HTML raw, I just didn't go all the way ... you could say I went as far as second base and then I stopped. So tables, and understanding CSS and all that, is way beyond my 5th grade comprehension level. After years of schooling, and having my head buried in so many books I've lost count, I know how I learn, and that's by doing. I envy those who get it the first time around, when someone is helping them. God bless them, but that's not me. I am adept at note taking; I like to have it written down so I can use it as a reference later on. But I'm not a one-lesson learner; maybe two, perhaps three. Hmm...maybe I was one of the slow kids in class (though I don't think that excuse is valid as I was an honors student until I discovered boys ...) come to think of it, I'll state for the record the following: there are a few things in my life at which I am a really, really, really slow learner. I'll try, and try, and try, and try and bang my head against the wall repeatedly, bloodied and bruised and ready to cave in and give up. And it infuriates me when I give up, because I know I can do it. Maybe after all that head-banging I really, really, really don't want to do it after all.
I digress.
And I am quite sure, confident even, that if we sat down at a table across from each other, and I placed tools, semi-precious stones, silk thread, knot covers, jump rings, soldered rings and lobster clasps in front of you, you wouldn't know what to do with all of it, unless you design jewelry. And maybe, just maybe you'd get it in a few hours of me teaching you how to do it. And then again, maybe it would take you two or three days ...
[Talk about digression. I just found a lump. It's on my left hand, left thumb, right side of the joint (bendy part?) WTF!?! Hmm...hard little damn body alien. Maybe I'll have to find someone to smack it with a book ... maybe it's just a carbunkle (I always loved the word, not so fond of its meaning though) -- nope, it's not a carbunkle. Damn, I forget the name of what this might be ... oh well. I'll worry about it, later.]
Back to the essay. You may ask yourself (Cars? David Byrne?) what is it exactly that I want to do here. Well, same as it ever was -- (damn, I'm now writing in song lyrics) -- that box in the middle of the page where I dump all my verbiage. I'm a big fan of white space ... works for me. Makes the creative side of me swoon, like a blank canvas does when I'm ready to paint... or, like the big red crane that's now a permanent fixture down the block from my apartment ... yes, I see I'm getting nowhere except doing a lot of typing, making myself laugh out loud, and wondering what I'll do for my next trick ... ;-)
But hey, it's August! Ibiza with Holger, September to Austin and Berlin, November to London and Paris, December to Austria to find a ticket scalper... Yes, that's it. Vacation! Everyone takes vacation in August! David and Ames are headed for Newfoundland, birth home of the Roxinator ... gone for three weeks! Another possibility, Montauk for three weeks this month, August!
Oh, but I have to fix this page first.
Route 666 Now Route 491
New Mexico Says Buh-Bye
Albuquerque, N.M. Reuters: Oh heck. You can't drive on the Devil's highway in New Mexico anymore.
Route 666, often referred to by locals as the "Highway to Hell" or "Satan's Highway" was formally re-christened Route 491 on Wednesday. Several prominent voices wanted new numbers for one of the state's deadliest roads that lacked associations with the biblical beast.
"After 77 years of concern and discontent we have finally removed any reference to the devil from this highway," said Gov. Bill Richardson in a ceremonial dedication.
The tortuous stretch of road runs through mountain valleys from Gallup to Shiprock for just over 100 miles in the northwest part of the state. It has some of the highest fatalities per mile of any highway in New Mexico because of its poor condition.
In 2002, 11 people were killed in crashes on U.S. 666 in New Mexico, while in the first six months of this year, six have perished, the state transportation department said.
The number 666 is called the number of the beast because of a passage in the New Testament -- from Revelations -- and over the centuries triple sixes have become associated with Satan.
The road was renamed Route 491 because it is the fourth route off U.S. 191.
Most of the 666 highway signs were stolen after the name change was announced in May. Officials blame thieves looking for souvenirs and not the Devil.
The Global Software Bully
Dave Winer points to a great story at Economist.com about the global software bully that "recently exited adolescence."
August 05, 2003
Ponder This"Bloggers who never flame anyone and don't have blogrolls (or don't make a big deal about them) may take a long time to become "important" -- but if they stand out because of the quality of their ideas, and the ideas they inspire, they can attain a kind of longevity that has value, like the giants whose shoulders Sir Isaac Newton stood on." - Dave Winer on Being Important
August 06, 2003
Is That You Flipper?
Dial-a-Dolphin on Your Mobile
Scientists at a dolphin sanctuary in Ireland have teamed up with British telecom giant Vodaphone to record underwater dolphin conversations. If successful, mobile phone users worldwide will be able to call to hear the live clicking and whistling sounds of bottlenose dolphins. WIRED News.
Bishop-elect Gene Robinson
U.S. Episcopalian bishops voted on Tuesday -- 62 of 107 bishops voted in favor of Gene Robinson. Reuters.
Notice I did not use the word "gay" above. Why, because who cares. I don't care. I am not interested in whether or not someone likes men, or women, or sheep - whatever. Years ago during the Clinton brouhaha, I wrote an entry about it. I could care less if he had sex with 'that woman' -- I was more concerned about him doing the job he was elected to do.
I can't help but wonder what George W., the heterosexual, thinks about this. If we insist on slapping on the sexual preference label, then let's be fair about it. We should do it for everyone. Imagine it: after your title of CEO or director, gay, heterosexual, bisexual, asexual, etc. would appear after that. Because this line of thinking insists upon putting your sexuality first, your name second, and your ability to do the job last. More and more, a human being's ability to do a job has become the least most important factor. It's time to get the priorities straight, to get out of the bedroom and into the office. Because the ability to do the job is what matters. Maybe if we spent more time focused on the work at hand, instead of the sexual preference, we'd get more done.
A Good Time was had by All
Here's the report from my niece about taking the Bar exam:
The test was delivered via armored car.
Day one of the bar exam wasn't bad at all. Day two, however, was brutal. Imagine the poor guy who came in to take the test: he went to sit down and the chair broke. He hit his head on the cement, and had no choice but to stay, find another seat and take the test.
There was a small group of us taking the exam -- 5,000 people. Every time I looked up from my exam to go into the zone and think about my response to a question, I found th exam police staring me down. This was not helpful.
When time was up, the "MC" of the proceedings bellowed into the microphone, "PENCILS DOWN! STAND UP IMMEDIATELY!!!!" When it was over, I wanted to cry but didn't. There were enough people in the room doing that. Some people clapped, others just stood there, dumbfounded. Now I'm taking a break for 4 days, then next week I'll begin looking for a job. Test results will be available two days before Thanksgiving.
Gross!
A firehouse in Jamaica, Queens (NY) has been temporarily closed. The closing has nothing to do with budget cuts; it's just that the city needs to eliminate the massive rodent problem in the firehouse. ewwwww....
August 08, 2003
Witty RetortVia Zoe at My Boyfriend is a Twat, a number of bloggers have received the following email:
Hello there,
I am researching online fanzines and weblogs on behalf of the publishing group emap.
Emap is running fanzine awards this year, and I am helping to put together a shortlist for
the competition. I would be extremely grateful if you give me some information...
on your publication so I can submit it for consideration. Could you tell me:
(yada yada)
Oh, and can I have full contact details ö email, phone number and mailing address?
Chris Bourn.
Hysterical response from Gert, who received the email also. Here's the beginning of her reply:
My site has been running since 1879. I'm the fifth generation of my family to hold the editor
posiiton. When it was originally started, it was one of the very few pages on what was then
known as the Lanchashirewideweb. The address was originally lww.madmusingsof.me.nh, making
use of the Newton Heath Top Level Domain.
The rest of her response can be found on her blog @ mad musings of me.
Greeting Cards
My mother and I are always on the lookout for funny greeting cards that make you laugh out loud. If I found a card that was really funny, I'd buy it and then pop it in the mail to her. And when my mother taps into her funny bone, she'll take that same card, cross out my signature, sign her name, and send it back to me. I do the same; cross out her name, sign mine again, and send it back to her. When she wants to, mom can be a real goofball.
Today's snail mail brought this type of card from her (you'd think she lived in another state or country -- it's not as if I don't see her often.) The card has an ink drawing of a woman stretched out on a lawn chair, her arms up behind her head. Her eyes are closed, a drink with a straw on the ground beside her. There's a sign on the tree, as well as a sign on each sale item that is strewn across the lawn:
Yard Sale: Everything Goes!
Stress: $1.25
Anxiety: $ .50
Worries: $1.00
Misc. Problems: $.50
Frustration: Best Offer
Low Self-Esteem: Free
Pardon me while I cross out her name, address the envelope, and send it back to her. :-)
In Other Mom-Related News...
When my mom had a metal rod put in her hip after her mishap last year, I often told her to stay out of electrical storms because, I joked, she was a walking lightning rod. Unfortunately, I never should have said that because now she's taken that comment to the extreme.
There's a good chance my sister will get two first class tickets to Europe for use later this year. She wants to take my mom with her, as mom hasn't gone away since before my dad died (5 years ago.) I'm really excited about the possibility (it doesn't take much to get ME back to Europe) but mom says she can't go. Seems she's convinced that she'll never be allowed on an airplane because she's "concealing a weapon" -- the rod in her hip. She says, "Imagine me walking through the metal detector and alarms start going off. How am I supposed to show them that I have nothing to hide without being subjected to taking all my clothes off and showing them my scar? I'd have to take my x-rays and a doctor's note with me!"
Humorous imagery aside, somehow, some way, I have to convince her to make this trip. I know she's always wanted to visit London, and she's never been to Europe, so this is indeed her golden opportunity. Hmm... how can I change her mind?
Into the Woods
I'm off, like a dirty shirt. Going upstate. See y'all sometime soon!
Happy trails, weekend, etc. Stay cool.
August 12, 2003
You Can Play Too!
From Zoe at My Boyfriend is a Twat via Green Fairy.
How to Play
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Zoe's questions for me:
1. Would you like to move to another country for your job?
Absolutely. Got one in mind for me?
2. What do you miss most in your life?
Today? I'd have to say my Lufthansa Frequent Traveler status. :-)
3. Would you ever voluntarily go for an entire make-over which would completely change your present looks?
I think a makeover would be fun, though I'd only go for it if it didn't involve surgery. I'm not that vain.
4. What food do you find the most repulsive?
Hmm...tough question. There's the story of pancakes with maple syrup and why I don't eat them, but that's way too much psychological babble for right now... so I'll go with the goop found inside a lobster ... ew. I don't care who thinks it's a delicacy or the best part of the lobster. It grosses me out, which is why I tend to eat only the tail.
5. Have you ever thought of using more precious stones in your hand-made jewellry?
I tend to use more semi-precious stones than other types when I make jewelry. The beads used in your necklace are glass, but overall, I try to find semi-precious stones that you don't see too often. It's going for that "I've never seen that before!" design/style that rocks my socks.
Cosmic Suicide
Out of the print version of Popular Science comes this little tidbit:
Galileo, 13, to Commit Cosmic Suicide.Galileo, the interplanetary spacecraft that has changed the way we understand Jupiter and its 61 known moons, will perish on September 21 as it plunges into the Jovian atmosphere. Originally slated for a two-year mission, NASA extended its tour in 1997 for an extra 14 orbits around the planet. During the second pass, Galileo discovered that liquid water probably still exists under Europa's icy surface. Next month's impact takes place on the far side of the planet and will be monitored by NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena, California.
Galileo is survived by the Cassini spacecraft, which will arrive at Saturn in July, 2004.
Follow the crash at NASA's Galileo web site, Countdown to Jupiter Impact.
Rifle through my underwear ...
... but keep your hands off my laptop.
"I guarantee you that anyone who messes with my laptop without my express permission is in for a world a hurt" -- Wired News
Microsoft Loses
Reuters: A federal jury in Chicago awarded the University of California and a browser technology company $521 million after finding that their patents were infringed by Microsoft.
Food Fright
The Donald: "the thought of zucchini makes me run screaming into the night"
August 13, 2003
Why Am I Doing This?
I used to love writing in this space. I used to have my own unique voice. I used to have my own way of saying things, doing things. I used to be funny. I used enjoy looking back and reading what I'd written long ago. I used to ...
In re-reading some of my earliest postings, it got me wondering what happened to that voice, the one that was funny, the one that didn't give a damn who was reading, the one that was me. I've not been able to pinpoint exactly when my writing voice changed, but I'm painfully aware of it. Maybe it's just life getting in the way, maybe it's my imagination working overtime, maybe it's just a lack of enthusiasm.
Today I wrote an email to Zoe and said I was considering disabling comments for my posts permanently because I rarely get any, except from her. She asked me to reconsider. Not too long ago, I came across the blog Fulton Chain. There's a great post in the archives about why comments are not enabled on that blog. I think the same reasoning applies for mine. And I quote:
Most times the comment link is totally ignored,
that makes me feel all lonely and neglected
aside from highlighting just how few people read this site
(I avoid my server logs like the plague for the same reason).
I am in complete agreement with the "totally ignored, makes me feel all lonely and neglected" line of thinking. The interesting thing about this is that I know (from glancing at the server logs) that my blog is indeed accessed (nevermind the fact that Inktomi Slurp and Googlebot are my most frequent visitors.) So what does that say, that my content is lame-assed? That my writing sucks? That I'm a Loser with a capital "L"? And delving a bit deeper, why the hell do I suddenly care? Have I gotten so caught up in this history-repeating-itself Web stuff that I am determined to make my mark here AGAIN?
In thinking about the reasons why I began writing again in this space, it was simple. Adam emailed me and suggested I write again. He's been reading my writing in this space, oh, since 1995, I guess. Back then, I had a full-blown 3 months (instead of 15 minutes) of fame on the Web. The number of accesses to my Web site boggled the mind. I received a ton of email. I was number one at the top of my ISP's Top 100 Web sites listing. I got a lot of press. However, getting back to the point in this paragraph, I began writing again because Adam encouraged me to do so. I figured that I'd give it a shot. I was somewhat out of the loop as far as a blog was concerned; I hadn't followed the technology and the re-emergence of personal Web sites simply because I was busy doing other things and no longer writing in the Web space. But here I am again, asking myself the very same questions I asked myself the last time I stopped writing here. Why am I doing it and what purpose does it serve me or anyone else?
A month or so ago, I decided to take the entire blog down. About an hour later, my friend David phoned and said, "hey, where's your blog? I had no idea he even read it. So I put it back up. And here I am yet again, wondering if it's even worth it. I can't seem to put my finger on where the problem lies and what to do about it. Maybe it's a good idea to disable the comments. Maybe that will help me find my voice again, to not care, to carry on as I did before, without the thought in my head that I'm being neglected and ignored.
And maybe it's that I'm just a big baby and need attention, and that thought alone should be enough for me to stop writing altogether. *sigh*
August 15, 2003
Juice
At 4:19 p.m. yesterday, I managed to slip a text message out before AT&T Wireless took a nap along with T-Mobile and Verizon, nevermind television, cable and Net access. Pffft. It was all gone in a blink of an eye. It's a bit frightening when you're completely cut off like that.
When my cordless phones are not charging properly, the units make this funky tweaking noise. That was my alarm clock at 6 a.m. this morning. That's when I knew I had juice.
The phones began charging again. My personal drug of choice, iced coffee, was not dutifully ready, since there was no juice to make it last night. This meant trolling around the nabe in hopes of becoming one with the bean. My favorite iced-coffee-when-desperate haunt, a little place nestled between a baptist church and a grocer on Broadway, was my supplier, and I scored. "How many today?" the man behind the counter asked me. "How many can you give me, 20?" I replied, then we laughed. The woman next to me laughed also as she was putting the finishing touches on her prized cup of coffee. She proceeded to tell me how she hopped on a bus from the East Side because everything was closed there and they still didn't have juice. "I was desperate!" she exclaimed. "I needed my coffee, and just ran out of my apartment and hopped on the crosstown bus."
It's the little things that matter. Like getting the early morning coffee fix, grabbing a copy of the The New York Times from the newsstand nearby just because you know the paper will have some cool, detailed explanation of power grids along with some maps. Yes, I am dorky about stuff like that. I'm not so concerned about what state/country was responsible (U.S. versus Canada, isn't that a hockey game?) but more interested in the what, when, where and how information. Nuts and bolts. (I know I don't NEED to know any of this, but I WANT TO KNOW HOW IT WORKS...and how it DOESN'T work.)
After coffee and the newspaper, it was time to play dial-up with the Blueberry (the TiBook reserved for more serious computing, accompanied by the delicate ms. broadband and her significant other, mr. router.) The Blue delivered a nifty 44,000, and hey, there was some email with that, but lately, I've not been able to get into my own blog in the mornings. Yeah, I noticed that. How many times do I have to restart before the IP address resolves itself? I'm not a techie. Pretty soon I'll throw it against the wall, smash the machine into little bits, and call it a day.
Oops. I digressed.
ANYWAY ... since posting to the blog wasn't an option, answering email was a good idea. I did that, then noticed that not long after, my email wasn't coming through ... so I tossed in the towel. Hmm... didn't try the cable modem yet ... nyet. Not working. Let's try the television ... nein. QVC was the only channel showing up on digital cable television. *click* off went the cable box and the television. Moving on to the kitchen, let's check the contents of the fridge. ... SPLASH!... Oh right, the freezer needed to be defrosted anyway. Thanks so much for the forced defrosting and the bath. Hmm...what's that smell? Oh, sour milk? So soon? (counting the number of hours gone by since 4ish yesterday afternoon.) ewww. Time to empty the contents of the fridge into a garbage bag. Yuk. Thankfully there wasn't much in there to begin with.
Later on, once the chores in my apartment were done, I printed out some photographs I took yesterday and decided I'd pop into Barnes & Noble for a book fix. Out the door I went, freshly showered, hair pulled back in a ponytail, t-shirt, shorts and sneakers the attire for the day. B&N is only a few blocks from me, so I can satisfy my book craving at any time. Not today. The store's gates were down, and signs were on each window: STORE CLOSED. COMPUTERS DOWN. Bummer. Worse things could happen.
It was quite hot outside by this time, and departing the city wasn't an option with trains in sporadic operation. Nothing more to do except return home and make some phone calls in response to the voice mails left on my cell yesterday. Marcus in Nashville, laughing because his mom was freaking out in Binghamton, The Donald in San Francisco, freaking out in a way so mild only Donald could do, (because the guys due to pick up the cars for transport to Texas haven't shown yet and Donald plus family are on an early morning flight to their new Austin home in the morning,) Debbie in Oregon, who I've yet to call (3-hour time difference gives me lots of leeway), and others I wanted to speak to. Of course the first call was to mom. She had power back on at 10:30 last night. Lucky her. She was able to sleep in air conditioning ... but that's really good, because she's 73 and well, she needs to be comfortable.
Then the phone stopped working. The email was still not working, nor access to the blog. I decided to take a nap, since there was no sleep last night, even though I think there was 5 minutes of REM right before the phones began tweaking at 6. And look what happened an hour after my nap ... broadband. What a surprise. Here's what I couldn't post earlier today, which is a brief recap of what I did yesterday. First read the stories posted by Reuters this afternoon. [P.S. I'm not greedy enough to have my air conditioner on today. I like to think that instead of me using up that newly acquired juice, some elderly lady is benefiting from it instead. Okay, so I'm using a fan. I'm not THAT generous. :-) P.P.S. I have other posts that I want to put up that I have to finish writing. I was in the middle of that yesterday when the lights flickered and went *pffft.*]
Sweltering in the Heat and Humidity
Just in case those of you outside of the NYC area are wondering what city residents did today, (myself included among them), read this story from Reuters.
Rolling Blackouts
At least Pataki says the right thing.
Reuters:... But New York power operators asked for permission to impose rolling blackouts to prevent customers from overloading the system and crashing it again. Canadian power generators also expected to impose controlled power cuts.
New York Gov. George Pataki said he wanted to know how and why the system crashed so catastrophically. "How did this happen, why did it happen and why did we have a systemic failure across the power grid in the northeast when we were told after the blackout in the 1960s that this would not happen again?" Pataki said.
Sweating like a pig, that's what I was doing.
Once again, I could count on Mayor Bloomberg to say just the right thing. Yesterday I overheard a radio news report, and Bloomberg of course was being interviewed about the blackout. He said, "years from now people will ask you where you were the night of the blackout." Oh yes Mr. Bloomberg, that was the most important statement you could have made yesterday. I'll just add that to a number of other inane and stupid things I've read online today. Yeah, it was a big party-- helping a frightened elderly woman cross the street who couldn't go up 35 flights of stairs to her apartment ... directing traffic until the police showed up ... helping your neighbors navigate the pitch black flights of stairs in your brownstone ... giving the 24-hour doormen lukewarm water to drink so they didn't pass out from the heat... watching as a woman was carried out on a stretcher and into a waiting ambulance ... wondering if my own family was okay... then finally stopping, putting my mind and concerns on hold, take a deep breath, and visit with some friends and have a glass of wine right there on the sidewalk on 79th Sreet. Yup. One big party, and all of that BEFORE I dealt with my own apartment, and the heat, and the food that was slowing rotting away in my fridge, but I've no complaints. I squeaked out some good deeds yesterday and had a glass of wine. Overall, it was a pretty good day, all things considered.
August 18, 2003
Hot, Steamy Nights
As I lie on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night.
You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.
You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you lay on my naked body...you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.
Finally, I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events. My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it harder to forget you.
Tonight I will remain awake waiting for you...
... you fucking mosquito.
{via Zoe}
A Host of Difficulties
Yesterday this domain and the jewelry web site were unreachable. Since I was having problems for weeks with the DNS, I assumed that was it. Regardless of the many emails I sent to the company I use for hosting, the problem was not fixed until I tried to access this domain very early this morning. The site for the jewelry is still unreachable.
Even though the company responded to my emails on a Sunday, I did not get any answers as to what was going on. Each time I tried accessing this domain, I'd get these messages: access denied, 404 not found, you have successfully installed the software for Apache webserver. I asked Zoe to check it from where she is in Belgium, and she wrote that the message she received was some sort of problem with cookies. To make matters worse, at one point, the jewelry site's DNS was pointing to a web site for something called Union Academy. I am not a happy camper. In the 4-5 months I've been using them, there haven't been any serious problems, and the tech people were pretty good at rapid response to any questions I had. I guess you could say you get what you pay for, as the hosting company's rates are quite inexpensive.
This weblog is not the be-all and end-all for me. I can always slap something up in its old home or use another account. It's the jewelry web site, which is business for me, that I'm concerned about. After yesterday's debacle and the continuation of the problem today, it means shopping around for another hosting company for that site. I can't afford to have the site inaccessible even though I'm well aware that servers are upgraded and down time is not unusual. I'd expect to be notified of that down time and common sense would have it that that down time would happen during off-hours AND I'd receive an email notifying me of that fact.
Since I have no idea what the problem is, (because they've not emailed me with any answers), if anyone who reads my blog has recommendations for a good hosting company that's affordable and reliable, please post a comment below. Thanks!
If I Saw You Today
If I saw you today
sitting across from me
at the kitchen table
drinking your coffee
reading your newspaper
or outside in the yard
tending to the lawn
or tinkering in the garage
or maybe your garden
with the tomato plants
if I saw you today
sitting next to me on the patio,
looking out over the yard
I often wonder what you would say to me
you'd ask me about work
look me in the eye, nod your head
you'd make a veiled reference to my love life
you'd be direct, perhaps blunt
If I saw you today
in the living room with mom
what would you say to her
she says you're in a better place
Are you in a better place?
it's been five years since
we saw you last
ravaged by illness
life and spirit drifted away
If I saw you today
I would hug you
Say I love you, miss you
I wish you were here.
In memory of my dad: October 22, 1929 - August 18, 1998
August 19, 2003
Roads
On the road, off the road, the road less traveled, on the road again, road closed ...
I finally tracked down The Donald last night in between my own travels. He's officially landed in Austin, Texas after what seems like the move from hell. Though we (Marcus and I) offered to fly out to San Francisco to help with the massive undertaking of packing up his house there, he declined. I think having Marcus and I there would have just added to the stress Donald was under, thinking he had to entertain us but forgetting that we can easily entertain ourselves. They're not in their new house as yet, but living in a no-tell motel until movers arrive with all their belongings. Daughter Bethany started her first day of school yesterday, which Donald said went smoothly, all things considered.
The Donald isn't out of the woods as far as Marcus and I are concerned. Provided all goes as planned, both of us will descend upon Austin in September. Marcus will drive down from Nashville and I'll hop on a plane, as soon as I find a decent flight/hotel. (Suggestions/recommendations greatly appreciated.) Marcus will do some construction while there and I'll just hang out with Bethany (6) and lounge around the pool with her when she's not in school. Actually, we'll help Donald get the house in some sort of sane order ... after all, what are friends for? It will be the first time the three of us will be together in the same place. Austin will never recover. ;-)
In other travel news, friend and former colleague Ken Clark will be visiting the East Coast in early October. He's extended an invitation for me to join him and Tony for a trip to the Bronx Zoo (I told him sure, I'll go, but I live in a zoo anyway.) Hopefully we'll get together at that time with some other former co-workers while other people we know and love are also on the East Coast at that time... (you know who you are.)
I've earmarked October for another trip to Berlin. And speaking of Berlin (Holger!) ... I've had my very own BIG RED CRANE for a number of weeks living at the corner of my street. It's not as cool as the cranes in Berlin, but it was accessible for climbing ... so guess who climbed up on it in a fit of insanity?
Addendum:
I just remembered a billboard I saw while driving down to Florida one time. It read:
"Will the road you're on take you to my place? - God." I found that really funny, even though I'm not particularly religious.
August 26, 2003
1,267 Steps
Trying more new and different things seems to have been my theme for this summer. I've always spent the summer planted on a beach, but I didn't do that this year. Growing up, I spent a good deal of time in Pennsylvania on summer vacations with family, and it seems as though the state is forever permanently etched in my soul. There's something about the trees, the green, the creeks, the rocks, and the quiet that attracts me. And it's not just in warm weather either. I love it there in the fall and winter too. The same type of love I had for the ocean and the sand, but different.
This past week I was in Pennsylvania once again, and traveled to a few places I'd never been to before. I went hiking for the first time, even though I quickly realized during my hike that hey, I've done this before. As a child, I'd gone hiking many, many times through the forests in Pennsylvania. This hike, however, was not like the ones I'd done as a child; it didn't include stopping to pick up rocks to see what creatures would slither around in the dirt underneath (yes, I did this.) On the trail I chose, I had to keep my head up most of the time, unless I was peeled over the edge to admire the scenery below me.
Bushkill is nestled in the forests of the Pocono Mountains and has 8 beautiful waterfalls. There are 4 hiking trails from which to choose: Pennell Falls Trail, which is about an hour and 15-minute hike, Popular Trail, 45 minutes, and Main Falls Trail, 15 minutes. I hiked Bridal Veil Falls Trail, which is timed at 2 1/2 hours long but I completed in less than that. Also known as the Red Trail, it is the most difficult terrain to cover in comparison to the other three. Had I known that this trail included 1,267 steps, I might have selected a less strenuous trail.
About the steps: not as easy as it sounds. You really need to pay attention, as the wooden steps were built either very close and narrow or very wide and far apart. (I kept wondering about the builder and carpenters, the guy who came in there way back when and put all 1,267 steps in. Someone who passed me on the trail said the exact same thing to me; "don't you find yourself wondering who BUILT ALL THIS???) While traipsing UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN those steps, I stumbled a couple of times and in the most dangerous parts. Had my foot turned a little further to the right, I would have been a goner, right over the side and hundreds of feet down into the rocks and water. *splat*
I surprised myself and managed to complete the Red Trail in less time than expected, which not only included being stopped by other hikers who asked me to take the "here we are at the falls on our summer vacation" photos but also the 27 or so digital photos I took with my Sony. Oh, and I managed to shed buckets of perspiration by the end of the trail. Isn't that so rugged and ladylike of me? ;-) (Granted, it was 11:00 a.m. and around 90 degrees already, but I'd prefer to think that all of that sweat was from damn hard physical labor and not from the sun.)
For nature lovers, you couldn't beat the aesthetics of the falls and all the greenery. With each step up a stair, or a rock, or beside a stream, the view was spectacular. (Oh my, I'm gushing!) Seriously, the place was truly beautiful and I hope to get back there soon to do it all again.
August 27, 2003
Found Floating
I Feel Your Pain
Major suckage: Adam's got MEGA problems after a major firewire drive crash. He lost some 3,000 pictures. That really sucks.
Wit
Spock, you are about three mittens short of an Icelandic expedition...
Seen
A girl walking alone on Broadway wearing a t-shirt that read, "What's his name takes really good care of me."
From the Truly Daft Category
London: a black woman who is scheduled to have her lower leg amputated was offered a white false foot. If she wanted a prosthetic limb that matched her skin color, she'd have to pay an extra $4,725. Reuters.
About that Blackout...
Who's on first? Who's keeping score? Whose fault is it THIS week? Anyone know? Did we vote on it? Was it Ohio, Canada, or the Niagra Falls lightning bolt? Was it the fault of the guys working in the trees in Cincinnati? Or was that Akron? Cleveland? Someone help me out here. :-)
August 28, 2003
Sexual Positions Via MobileA Helping Hand to Latin Lovers
Reuters:
A Brazilian telephone company is offering a helping hand to Latin lovers who are lacking inspiration
with animations of sexual positions based on the Kama Sutra flashed directly to their mobile phones.
For 33 cents, customers of Tele Norte Leste Participacoes' wireless arm Oi can download one of 40 animations which come with a short explanation and gauge of difficulty.
August 29, 2003
I'm Naked
Dale Keiger, a visiting associate professor of creative writing (Johns Hopkins), popped into my blog recently and encouraged me to write. He posted the following comment about my earlier entry, Why Am I Doing This?
because writing what's true is as good a thing as a person can do."
I am indeed naked. Naked in real life, naked in my blog. I always write naked. I strip down to the bare details, giving readers a clear view of me in all my nakedness: the good, the bad, the ugly. The same holds true if you met me in person. I'm direct, no-nonsense, no bullshit, straightforward, honest. There are no cute guessing games.
However ....
Do I write what is true? Always, but not in all ways. For the purpose of online publishing, I practice selective editing. 99 percent of the time I reveal my entire cerebral body; but on rare occasions there is just a skeleton of the truth without the flesh and organs. Sometimes I just cannot (nor do I want to) write every truthful detail, the raw and naked writing that one is better off putting down in a handwritten, unpublished journal.
I've given it a good deal of thought as to the reason why I couldn't find my writing voice. I realized that it wasn't that I'd lost my voice, it was the struggle with having something to say that I simply could not publish on my blog. I wrestled with the story I needed to let out, a truth I wanted to deposit here. I thought about what I would gain by telling this story, and determined that the only benefit would be releasing it from my system. The downside of not publishing it? It remains inside of me.
Because of that, my internal writing dam is overflowing, just waiting to burst. And though I could indeed let the words out, I'd have to turn my non-fiction into fiction in order to tell the story. As that would make the story fictional, I continue to pile up the mental sandbags in order to prevent serious flooding. The solution is to let it out, but not in this medium, and that's okay. I'll write it all down in a journal today, and maybe one day in the future I'll spin the truth into fiction. Then I'd be able to post it here.
Dale's comment did have an effect though, and I'll venture to guess that was his intent. Now my words are coming fast and furiously. In the words of Cecilia Bartholomew, "... logorrhea, when the words come so fast they can hardly get to the wastebasket in time." Thanks, Dale!